He was a strange man

My aunt's reaction to Michael Jackson's death is the title of this post.

I was not a huge MJ fan.

I can respect thriller. I can respect his music.

But, he was a strange man...

my thoughts: i think my shock comes because i was convinced he was not actually human.
the nose, the skin changing... i think i just assumed he was not of this earth. and now, he is not.

Greeted by Farrah and Ed McMahon.

And poor farrah now takes a back seat.

As soon as I heard he was taken to the hospital and was in cardiac arrest, i thought "he died." I knew it.

I saw the window he dangled the baby out of in London.
and yes, i moonwalked on occasion.

however,
he was a strange man...

YOU'RE sorry!?!?!?

"No, there is nothing I can do for you, I'm very sorry ma'am." -
Thad, southern idiot who works for citibank customer service.

now. i have worked in customer service.
and the one thing i was told was: THE CUSTOMER IS ALWAYS RIGHT.
so. how come i feel like whenever i am the customer, i am WRONG?
i have been having difficulties with citibank. I had to get a new card because i lost my other one (my fault, i know) they sent me a new one.
It didn't work. it was my old (like 4 cards ago old) number.
So they sent me another. i figured I'd give it a try. Well, what do you know, it worked. until i tried using it at the grocery store. Apparently it only worked as debit. So I ordered another one. I waited patiently for UPS to arrive. They arrived. and it was THE SAME NUMBER AND DIDN'T WORK. So I called again. This time i got a delightful woman. she was very helpful and told me she would get that to me right away.
And it would be overnighted.
So I have waited. And then I decided to call to get the tracking number.
That is when I got Thad on the phone. Thad. Thad. Thad. poor Thad had no idea what he was getting into.
Apparently my card was not mailed out until TODAY.
I cannot access my account online, or on the phone. All I can do is GO TO THE BANK to transfer funds. To take out money. What is this? 1925? WHAT THE HELL. I kindly asked if i could get it early delivery. i was told no. i then politely asked if there was someone there who had the authority to do that for me. I was told no.
that, my friends is when Thad said "there is nothing I can do for you, I am sorry ma'am."
well.
well, well, well.

Poor Thad then got it. i lost my friggin mind. I told him i thought perhaps after getting billions in bail out money Citibank could step it up, i told him that all of this has been THEIR fault and they are only making it difficult for me. I told him i was going to leave Citibank. I told him it was ridiculous. I told him i worked in customer service and you should always try to do things for the customer. Did I mention I mentioned bail out money? Oh and I mentioned the economy. You always have to throw that in a conversation, i feel.

So. If i don't have enough money in my account and some gets taken out, and i am charged a fee for the overdraft from my savings, you better believe Thad will hear from me. And i better get that fee taken off.

Deep, deep breaths.

Oh, I also told Thad now he'll at least have a funny story to tell his friends tonight - about the crazy lady who called.

no explination needed. (NEN)

Oh Megan! I thought of you today - we were walking near times square and there was a guy passing out Obama condoms!

Let's play pretend!

ok.
i'm back.
i know.
it has been a
long.
time.

but here i am. and from the suggestion of my dear friend jess, I have decided to start posting some weird things that have been said to me. I will not divulge the name of the person who said it to me... unless the person gives me their permission to mock them mercilessly on this blog.

I will begin with one of the worst, most degrading, surprising, shocking things that has ever been said to me.

This one I will preface. I was at a job. In an office. Which, for anyone who doesn't know me, is NOT what I want to do. I went to school for acting. Therefore, a receptionist seemed a doable job. But then the office manager left. And without any consultation, it was assumed (without telling me) that I would take over those duties. One morning, the sayer of the quote was showing me around telling me different things I needed to do. Then. It hit.

"When you are at work, just pretend that you are in a play, and your role is someone anal retentive."

Wait. What? No! She didn't really say that? Oh my GOD i am SO INSULTED. I Quit. I have to quit. Those were my thoughts in about .5 seconds. My reply? A nervous laugh. Nervous because I was afraid. Very afraid of what might come out if I actually spoke. Part of me wishes I had just walked. But rent needed to be paid.

"Megan, why don't you PLAY office?!" like I was 5 years old.

This person is actually a friend of mine. Now that I am far, far away from being a coworker of hers.

woah it's been awhile!

i guess that is what happens when you work 10 hour days for 3 months... no time to blog, and too tired to notice anything happening around me!

however... last night...

i took the train from Rutland Vt after visiting my dear friend adrian (with a stop in burlington to see my brother) - i arrived in penn station, and was walking towards the exit. I got on an escalator that went to the street level - and i see the man infront of me get on his knees on the step of the escalator, put both hands down on the step infront of him... and KISS THE STEP. maybe he had wanted to go to nyc his whole life? it was a new beginning? he had no bags, was dressed normally... what could possess someone to KISS AN ESCALATOR STEP? i was so intrigued by it... he walked infront of me for a bit, and at one point asked someone for money. she said "no." it was all very, very strange.

i then got to my subway, and waited for my train to come. it came, and i got on it (picture me with a huge backpack, HUGE tote and my big purse) - and i sat down... some girl squeezed herself between me and some guy which i found highly annoying. anyway, i sat there, minding my own business, listening to my ipod... and i had to adjust my bags at one point and i noticed the guy sitting across from me (who was dressed very respectably) watching me, and he was muttering. so i thought he was trying to tell me something about my bags, but i quickly looked away. my bags were fine. i then looked at the guy again, and noticd he was staring at everyone and muttering. then he was swatting his ear like there was water in it or something. at first i thought perhaps instead of silently judging everyone like i do, he was merely whispering his judgements out. then, when he started swatting his ear, i thought perhaps he was talking to some people in his head... i'm not sure, but i will admit i was relieved that he got off the train 2 stops before me...

and that was my sunday night on the subway...

i'll try to be better, i promise!!! i go back to my normal hours TOMORROW!!!!!! hooray!

a long time comin

wow. i apologize for the delay. but i see my last entry was right before thanksgiving, so, there was thanksgiving, birthdays, and christmas... therefore, no time for the frivolities of blogging. i had two things of note happen today...
1. as i was walking back from the post office, i was waiting to cross the street and i hear someone yelling "MA'AM!!!!??? MA'AM!!!!!!!" i thought "well, i certainly am no ma'am, she mustnt be talking to me... plus, you dont look at someone yelling...i didnt have any money to give! however, i then felt someone next to me, and "MA'AM??" was said right in my ear. i looked up. "which way is broadway?" i smiled, feeling like a jerk and pointed her to the right direction, whilst patting her arm.
2. as i was sitting at my desk today, a man walked in, asked if we were some business that was not what if, i said no, they were on another floor, and then he spotted my candy bowl and said "CANDY!" (said much like "GOLD!!") and asked, i kid you not, how much it cost. i said he could take some. but he kindly put a quarter down on my desk and began rummaging. after he had a few pieces in his hand, he was getting ready to leave, took one last piece and said "reeses penis!" and left. he was probalby 50. no joke.

awesome.

scratch and sniff?

on sunday night, i was on my way from brooklyn to the upper west side- when i got on the train in brooklyn there werent many people on the train. i sat down, and as usual, observed my adoring subway public. i noticed this guy, he had a cvs bag that had a huge bottle of scope in it. and, might i add, that huge bottle of scope was 3/4 empty, or for you optimists out there, 1/4 full. so i noted that oddity, and continued to listen to my ipod (which, might i add, is on my iPHONE, yes, i am that cool). two guys got on, and sat next to me - i couldnt tell if they were a couple or just 2 gay friends. a few minutes later, i looked up and noticed scope man. and do you know what he was doing? he was picking his nose. but, he was not JUST picking it. oh no. he had a lovely little rhythm going of: pick pick pick, sniff sniff. yes. he would pick, about three times, his finger making a circle movement, then pull it out of his nose, sniff the tip of his finger for about 2 seconds, put it back in, repeat. i watched for awhile, and there was a definite rhythm. so while i became fascinated by this weird habit, i heard the gay couple near me (whose backs were to teh picker) and they were talking about noses! there was a photo on the subway in an ad that some really funny adolescent had colored on, coloring in her teeth and nostrils, and one guy said that your nose really defines you or some bullshit like that. and his friend said "yeah, you know, mens nostrils get enlarged as they get older... that's why older mens noses look so weird." and so continued the nose conversation. between the picker and this conversation, if ound my hand slowly going up to my nose to feel it, and i suddenly became oddly aware of the protusion that is my nose. i looked over at the picker, and he was still at it. pick pick pick, sniff sniff.

pick pick pick, sniff sniff.