Tuesday, November 13, 2007

scratch and sniff?

on sunday night, i was on my way from brooklyn to the upper west side- when i got on the train in brooklyn there werent many people on the train. i sat down, and as usual, observed my adoring subway public. i noticed this guy, he had a cvs bag that had a huge bottle of scope in it. and, might i add, that huge bottle of scope was 3/4 empty, or for you optimists out there, 1/4 full. so i noted that oddity, and continued to listen to my ipod (which, might i add, is on my iPHONE, yes, i am that cool). two guys got on, and sat next to me - i couldnt tell if they were a couple or just 2 gay friends. a few minutes later, i looked up and noticed scope man. and do you know what he was doing? he was picking his nose. but, he was not JUST picking it. oh no. he had a lovely little rhythm going of: pick pick pick, sniff sniff. yes. he would pick, about three times, his finger making a circle movement, then pull it out of his nose, sniff the tip of his finger for about 2 seconds, put it back in, repeat. i watched for awhile, and there was a definite rhythm. so while i became fascinated by this weird habit, i heard the gay couple near me (whose backs were to teh picker) and they were talking about noses! there was a photo on the subway in an ad that some really funny adolescent had colored on, coloring in her teeth and nostrils, and one guy said that your nose really defines you or some bullshit like that. and his friend said "yeah, you know, mens nostrils get enlarged as they get older... that's why older mens noses look so weird." and so continued the nose conversation. between the picker and this conversation, if ound my hand slowly going up to my nose to feel it, and i suddenly became oddly aware of the protusion that is my nose. i looked over at the picker, and he was still at it. pick pick pick, sniff sniff.

pick pick pick, sniff sniff.

Wednesday, November 7, 2007


this morning, on the train, i was sitting, minding my own business, reading a book. (i forgot my headphones, so no ipod, always a sad day...) - anyway, we were at 14th street. and suddenly i heare "WHAT ARE YOU LOOKING AT!?!?!" coming from inside the train, i look over, and it is a middle aged man, dressed normally, with a coffee a newspaper and a bag - looking across at a couple who were sitting there, she with her headphones, he reading a newspaper, arms linked. then he stood up "WHY ARE YOU LOOKING AT ME!?" and of course, then EVERYONE was looking at him.. he left the train, but still stood there facing the train yelling "WHYRE YOU LOOKING AT ME. STOP IT." and i think he got back on the train because a few people got off (in fear, i think) i looked at the two business men sitting across from me and thought i would be safe in case the crazy man went on some sort of rampage. so i wonder - was he crazy? was he the husband of that crazy lady i saw months ago who looked completely normal but was yelling out loud? he looked like he was on his way to the office. does he yell in paranoia in the office? are his coworkers getting ready for an intervention? or does he just act like that in the confines of the subway where no one knows him and he feels unsafe? i dont know, but it certainly was an entertaining way to start the day...