Tuesday, November 13, 2007

scratch and sniff?

on sunday night, i was on my way from brooklyn to the upper west side- when i got on the train in brooklyn there werent many people on the train. i sat down, and as usual, observed my adoring subway public. i noticed this guy, he had a cvs bag that had a huge bottle of scope in it. and, might i add, that huge bottle of scope was 3/4 empty, or for you optimists out there, 1/4 full. so i noted that oddity, and continued to listen to my ipod (which, might i add, is on my iPHONE, yes, i am that cool). two guys got on, and sat next to me - i couldnt tell if they were a couple or just 2 gay friends. a few minutes later, i looked up and noticed scope man. and do you know what he was doing? he was picking his nose. but, he was not JUST picking it. oh no. he had a lovely little rhythm going of: pick pick pick, sniff sniff. yes. he would pick, about three times, his finger making a circle movement, then pull it out of his nose, sniff the tip of his finger for about 2 seconds, put it back in, repeat. i watched for awhile, and there was a definite rhythm. so while i became fascinated by this weird habit, i heard the gay couple near me (whose backs were to teh picker) and they were talking about noses! there was a photo on the subway in an ad that some really funny adolescent had colored on, coloring in her teeth and nostrils, and one guy said that your nose really defines you or some bullshit like that. and his friend said "yeah, you know, mens nostrils get enlarged as they get older... that's why older mens noses look so weird." and so continued the nose conversation. between the picker and this conversation, if ound my hand slowly going up to my nose to feel it, and i suddenly became oddly aware of the protusion that is my nose. i looked over at the picker, and he was still at it. pick pick pick, sniff sniff.

pick pick pick, sniff sniff.

Wednesday, November 7, 2007


this morning, on the train, i was sitting, minding my own business, reading a book. (i forgot my headphones, so no ipod, always a sad day...) - anyway, we were at 14th street. and suddenly i heare "WHAT ARE YOU LOOKING AT!?!?!" coming from inside the train, i look over, and it is a middle aged man, dressed normally, with a coffee a newspaper and a bag - looking across at a couple who were sitting there, she with her headphones, he reading a newspaper, arms linked. then he stood up "WHY ARE YOU LOOKING AT ME!?" and of course, then EVERYONE was looking at him.. he left the train, but still stood there facing the train yelling "WHYRE YOU LOOKING AT ME. STOP IT." and i think he got back on the train because a few people got off (in fear, i think) i looked at the two business men sitting across from me and thought i would be safe in case the crazy man went on some sort of rampage. so i wonder - was he crazy? was he the husband of that crazy lady i saw months ago who looked completely normal but was yelling out loud? he looked like he was on his way to the office. does he yell in paranoia in the office? are his coworkers getting ready for an intervention? or does he just act like that in the confines of the subway where no one knows him and he feels unsafe? i dont know, but it certainly was an entertaining way to start the day...

Thursday, September 27, 2007

yes, it happened.

i swear to you this happened on the train last night:

man walked into train, placed himself infront of me, leanedup against a pole, and thrust his pelvis in my face (2 feet from it) i looked away. next time i glanced at him, he had his arms up above his head holding the pole, so he was like flexing his arm muscles, and... dear friends, he was... KISSING HIS BICEP. i am not lying. i could not make this up.

he was probably 50.

it was grotesque.

and i laughed.


Wednesday, September 26, 2007

maniacs and criers

two nights ago, i was on the subway, waiting at 34th street for the train to start moving- we were "being delayed by the stations conductor" - whatever, whyever... so i was sitting there and i notice the two men sitting next to me (well, i was in a seat that goes backwards, and they were in seats on the side), and they were both fiddling around with their suitcases. the guy next to me, let's call him "litte joey" had on one of those tank tops that looks like the sleeves were just cut out, but they really arent, they are just made that way, jeans, and workboots. in manhattan. he had a handlebar mustache and reeked of smoke. the guy next to him, let's call him "big al" had on jeans, hiking type sneakers, and a button down... a little less rugged than little joey, but it was apparent that he was a country mouse in the big city... so, then i heard little joey say (in a voice that sounded like he must have been smoking 6 packs a day since age 11) "how fah do we have to go?" and i realize, to my dismay, they were definitely new englanders. big al answered "about fah-ty seconds" little joey nodded. then i heard big al say "hey girls, do you like this bag?" and i looked and he was holding up a knock off coach bag - not the cutest, but whatever... and it still had the plastic. the girls, probably thinking that he was trying to SELL it to him (two suitcases and a coach bag usually equal that in the streets of new york), said "no..." and kind of shrugged. big al looked at it, and said "well, think she'll like it... if not, I do! i'll use it!" and little joey said "hell, we just use backpacks in maine!" and i smiled at that, and little joey noticed, and then nudged me with his elbow laughing, and said "ya know? hahahaha" and he had one of those really scratchy smokers laughs... i laughed along like i knew just what he meant. then we got to 42nd street, and they must have had to catch the train back to portland, because they scuttled off, although little joey was not finished repacking his suitcase. i noticed him, after he got off, propping his suitcase ontop of a trash can to repack it.
and a little story from last night. i was on the train, minding my own business, when i noticed a girl get on, probably a little younger than me... she got on at 57th street, holding a whole foods bag. the first thing i noticed about her was that her skirt was very short. and she first sat down, then had to stand up to adjust the skirt so it wasnt her skin on the seat... as we were chugging along on the train, i noticed she was looking to the side, looking very sad. at first i thought she was looking AT someone- thinking it MUST be the boy she had unrequited love for, i followed her gaze, and just saw a regular corporate business woman standing there. was she sympathizing for corporate americans? then her gaze moved, and she had tears in her eyes, and she put her hand to her heart! now, my dear readers, i will fully 100% admit i have cried on the subway. i have sat there, alone and crying. but i have never EVER put my hand to my heart in a touching pose... what the HELL was wrong with this girl? i realized i was staring at her so i quickly put my gaze elsewhere and went on with my ride. i do not have that much will power, so i had to look at her again... and she... was... SMILING. LAUGHING. of course, i was wondering what on earth she could have been crying AND laughing about... then i realized he had her i pod shuffle on. perhaps, i thought, perHAPS she was listening to the last harry potter and it was the part where so and so died (i will not say who for fear of anyone reading this who has not read the last book), and then was laughing at something ron said later... or perhaps it was when this OTHER person died, and this other person is hurt and they are laughing about it.... or... or.... and then i noticed she was SINGING along. SINGING. so it was NOT a book she was listening to, it was music. now, i will admit music does get me going. i can cry... but i am not sure i have LAUGHED at music... i am truly curious about this girl. she got off at the stop before mine. i had a mind to stop her and ask her waht she was listening to. but i didnt.

Monday, September 10, 2007

suave and shrug

friday night i was on my way home from mexican food and one to many margaritas, but was aware enough as to what was going on around me. when i got on the subway, it was packed so i had to stand. i noticed a girl sitting down, i'm not sure why i noticed her, perhaps it was fates way of telling me "something will happen with her, so try to sit next to her" - so i noticed her, and read my book. a seat opened up a few stops later, lo and behold, next to the aforementioned girl. so i took it. i glanced over at what she was reading and noticed it was a script. typed out, so not anything crazy- probably an off off non equity production (i am not bashing her, as that is what i am involved in too!) so the train ride continued, with me reading. the train was still pretty packed for being so far into queens... there was a guy standing to my right, holding on to the bar above my head- i could sense his presence, but didnt look at him, so i didnt know what he looked like. just as we were approaching the stop before mine, script-reading girl stood up, handed something to man-without-a-face and said "i never do this.." and shrugged her shoulders with a cock of her neck. so i thought "what does she never do?" thinking perhaps she had tucked a tag that was sticking out of his shirt in... or maybe she knew him... so i looked at him, and he was holding a BUSINESS card. not any business card, an actors business card that has your headshot on it! so i laughed. maybe out loud, i cant be sure. then i noticed script-reader girl shrug her shoulders and cock her neck AGAIN. with a look on her face that was like "sorry." so then i decide i have to get a better look at man-without-a-face- and he wasnt even that cute! nothing that would make me think "if i dont do it i will never see the man of my dreams again" kind of thing that apparently script-reading girl felt! so then man-without-a-face, who i will now call mr. suave moves in on script-reading girl, who i will now call shrug-shoulders girl. mr. suave says "what stop are you getting off at?" shrug-shoulders said "the next one" mr suave: "i'll get off there too, this is usually my stop but i'll walk" so the doors shut and we start moving. and we stop. the announcement comes up "ladies and gentlemen we are being held for a train to leave the station" (this happens often since it is the last stop). and i chuckle to myself thinking how awkward it must be for shrug and suave to have to keep a conversation going. so mr suave says "ive been walking around manhattan all night" as if he had said "i have been pulling hundreds of people out of a burning building all night" he had this obnoxious, i-am-the-best-thing-in-the-world voice. i cant even think of an example - just, in your head, imagine an exaggerated "yeah, im awesome" voice, and that was suaves. so suave continued: "i started out the night at bar x downtown at first and avenue a* then my friend wsa in town and wanted us to meet her at 26th and 6th* so we walked there, then we walked to y bar on 23rd and avenue b* - not how i wanted to spend my friday night, but what can you do?" (*- these arent the real locations, i made them up, but it was something similar) and apparently, mr suave, you realized you werent going to get laid, which is why you were on your way home alone at 1 am.... but then shrug came along and you thought it was your lucky night... shrug then said "i should have just gotten off with you and walked... sometimes i think that might be quicker" then suave puts out his hand and says "Pete" as if he was at a country club and just met the CEO to the company he wanted to merge with... and shrug says "nicole." good god. is it wrong that i was loving sitting in on such awkwardness? when you arent involved, it is SUCH good fun! so they continued the small talk and then the train started moving. i was a bit sad as i wanted to continue viewing this interesting turn of events (let me also note that the entire time i was pretending to read my book, like it was the most interesting piece of literature i had ever encountered) so we got to my stop, and apparently, shrugs stop, and i literally waited so i could follow them. they are still kind of chit chatting, and she pointed to which way she goes, and he goes "oh, i was gonna say we could go to dunkin donuts and get a coffee or something" (dd was the other direction) and she says " i have to get up early for rehearsal" so i was following them down the stairs hoping to GOD she gave in to the coffee.. she laughed and said "it's great you know that is a 24 hour dunkin donuts" to which suave says "well, i just thought we could chat a bit more" and by then we were at the bottom of the stairs and they had stopped. i couldnt very well stop and stair at them, although i wanted to, perhaps pulling out a movie popcorn bag and watching, but instead i went on my way to my apartment. amazing. truly amazing. maybe they will be married in a year and i shouldnt poke fun. maybe after she realized what a jack ass he was she realized what a dumb mistake she had made. maybe she fell even further in love with him, but he was pissed she wouldnt go for a coffee with him. maybe they ended up at her place. i will probably never know...

Friday, August 31, 2007

orange breakfast, squeezing seats, and smells...

today i was on the subway, enjoying my lovely seat when we got to the second stop. everyone piled in, and then i noticed a girl squeezing through the doors, do the "look" around for a seat, and come to where i was sitting and say "couldyou?" and move her hands to symbolize "move over" to me and the guy sitting next to me. she was in her 20s and did not appear to have any physical ailment that would allow her not to stand. so i move over, and she squeezed her way in between me and the guy. then i noticed she was wearing a long sleeved THERMAL hoody in august in new york city. and i hated her even more. (did i mention that i was dripping with sweat as i had my suitcase with me and had to carry it up stairs to the trian?)
then she started rummaging through her bag, creating chaos as she did so. she pulled out foundation, and started putting it on- it was darker than her skin and looked hideous. (and, as i am pretty sure i am already going to hell, i dont think anything could help her).
so after the foundation was added, she rummaged again. and pulls out a baggie, with, ladies and gentleman, what was her breakfast. and do you know what this "breakfast" was? i shall tell you. this "breakfast" was the processed peanut butter and crackers- you know, the kind in a package. but, my friends, not just any pb and crackers, the kind with the ORANGE crackers. i looked at the crackers for probably one whole minute wondering if i was seeing things. wondering WHY wondering HOW. i dont think it is possible for me to eat anything orange before noon. eggs are yellow. no muffins are orange. peanut butter is brown. orange processed crackers?! so i looked away in disgust.
then i noticed, once we crossed into manhattan she had her hand over her nose. and she kept making awful faces. i couldnt smell anything. so then i thought, with delight "maybe i have bad breath!" so i immediately started breathing towards her. like a dragon. like fire... i was breathing on this bitch. but then i noticed she kept giving the guy next to her dirty looks. so i decided to take a deep smell. cologne. that was all. and it wasnt nasty saturated cologne. it wsa FINE. typical male smell. maybe she hates male smell, i dont know. but she was being completely and utterly OBNOXIOUS about it. and trying to get CLOSER to me. no. you dont press your body up against me in 90 degreee humidity on the subway.
so then, at 49th street, she got up. and i had a silent hoorah, but she MOVES TO THE OTHER SIDE OF ME. so it definitely was not my breath, but this guys cologne. so there she is pressed up against my left thigh. great.
then she pulls out a snapple, and starts sucking on a straw to drink it like a baby bottle, and she does not stop, like a baby and a bottle. she just sucks and sucks and drains that snapple. til it starts making those noises. by now, i cant smell cologne guy, but she is still being obnoxious, and at 34th street, she moves to the end of our row. and shoots me and cologne guy dirty looks. THEN some guy sits down next to her, and she shoots HIM a dirty look.
because i couldnt stare at her directly, luckily there is a wonderful window that i can look into and see her reflection. as i looked at her, sitting, being miserable, i suddenly started thinking about the people she must work with, and how much they must hate her. and i was so glad i did not work with her. she jumped up at 14th street and weas never seen again... she must bring misery, hatred, and those goddamn dirty looks with her wherever she goes.

Wednesday, August 29, 2007

what the fuck... is that blood?

the other day i got on my trusty n/w line at canal, which is always a delightful thing as i can always get a seat. as i walked on the sparsely populated train, and walked toward the seat that i wanted (i like the ones on the end, i feel like i have more room) i saw a red substance on the ground. i thought "what the fuck- is that blood?" upon closer inspection and evidence, i realized it was not blood, but ketchup. (the evidence being one of those little ketchup holders you pump ketchup into at some restaurants). i sat near it, but not near enough to step in it. the next stop, i saw more people have the same reaction: what the fuck, is that blood? then realizing, as i did, that it was merely someones carelessness with ketchup, the relief flooding over their faces, but there still avoidance of standing near it. it was just ketchup, but still, gross. i wonder if the evidence of the container was not present, what people would have done. i'm sure in the true new york fashion of ignoring, subway life as we know it would have gone on as usual.
i noticed a few things as the train plugged further uptown and got more crowded:
1. afterawhile and with more people on the train, there would still be the initial "is that blood?" moment, but then no one seemed to care if they stepped on it anymore - it was rather hard to avoid. the closer we got to 42nd street, the harder it was to even see it.
2. the stench. the more people who got on the train, in the middle of august, in manhattan, the hotter it gets on the train, and the grosser the smell gets. what i learned this ketchup day is that not only do sweaty city smell worse packed onto the subway, but so does ketchup.

as the ride wore on, the ketchup was hidden by feet, and the stench was hidden by B.O. and by the time i got off, i had practically forgotten about the ketchup...

Thursday, August 16, 2007

why my day job makes me happy

i still call it day job even though im not in a production right now. because it is not my forever job. but. it makes me happy. why?

here are some reasons as of the past couple of days:

1. after an amazing, relaxing, fun vacation in ireland, though of course i would love to still be there, i did not dread going back to work my first day back. at borders, it was really a hassle that first morning back "DONT MAKE ME YOU CANT MAKE ME" and then you would be back and it would still be as shitty as when you left, and usually, 10 new "rules" would have started making you have less freedom to express yourself than before. but this time, i didnt mind, and was looking forward to seeing my coworkers.

2. when i did return, i was greeted with tons of "we missed you!! so glad you are back!" etc. it makes you feel appreciated.

3. yesterday a coworker was going to borders so i had her pick me up the new hamlet dvd, while leaving work i was showing it to two coworkers, blabbing about it. today, one of the people i was showing it off to said "did you watch hamlet?" he remembered, and i like that.

4. this didnt happen in the past couple of days, but everyone was highly supportive of my harry potter craziness in july - and all asked me about it afterwards.

i love it.

and we get cake tomorrow, and there are oreos in the kitchen.
and i have coffee and an english muffin every morning.

and i have a question mark shaped desk, to match my scar.

?what if! new york - a comforting place to be!

Tuesday, July 31, 2007

do i attract fights?

well. i live in the city. i live in an apartment. i RARELY hear anything from the other apartments in my building (there are 3 others) - once and awhile i will hear elderly anne who lives below us blasting her tv, but that is about it.

last week, i was home alone, watching tv, and suddenly i heard yelling. loud yelling. "HOW CAN YOU SAY THAT" woah. then a lower, softer, gentler "i thought we would buy a house, start a family" then muffled voices, then screaming again. after a minute or two i thought "they MUST be rehearsing a scene... people are NOT that trite in real life." but, my loyal readers, it was 100% real. 2 hours real. i sat on the couch nearest the window, put the tv on mute, and listened... "GO AHEAD THROW SOMETHING, BREAK SOMETHING" about 100 times. "YOU JUST GOING GO OUT?! GO AHEAD" 10 times... "how can you say that" was repeated throughout the evening, about 100 times- no joke. and, let me get this open, i am a woman, but the woman was the one yelling. the man was calm, rarely raising his voice, which i am SURE infuriated her even more. my favorite line "YOURE DEAF!!! y ou NEVER hear ANYTHING i say!!!!' that would explain the yelling, i suppose... perhaps the point where i was most confused when i heard her say "YOU WORK ALL DAY" then a muffled response, and then "I DONT WANT TO GET A JOB" ok... so he was suggesting she get a job. wow. i'm not sure how it ended, but wow. it was 2 hours - but some of it was muffled when they moved to other parts of their apartment. OH. and let me add, these people do not LIVE in my building, they are in the building NEXT to me, so i heard all of this through open windows. i WISH i knew what they looked like... it was fascinating. how can people LIVE like that!
so my roommate came home, and i relayed the story to her, and she was mad she missed it!

go forward 2 days. i am sitting on the subway, minding my own business, when i see a couple walk in, obviously arguing. the man has a suitcase, the woman an obvious "carryon bag" - so i got the gist she had been traveling, and did NOT look happy. "so you walked by, and didnt think toi go in?!" she said. he replied "NO, it didnt click until later" the conversation continues similarly- her asking details about what he did- him affirming. and she did not like it. what i got from it: he was picking her up, forgot WHERE he was picking her up, and she was pissed because he was late. at one point she said "well, i told you, but you were talking to so and so..." (a guys name- he must have been out when she called to tell him where to get her)- then he said "i called you and left a message" uh oh... looks like someone didnt have her phone on... although, at one point i heard her say "i dont have her phone number MEMORIZED, how i could i call her!?" so, this went on. literally, the same argument, the same story, for 20 minutes. she kept asking the same questions. he had the same answers. there might be a minute of silence and then "so you walked by?" "YES" i wanted to go up to her and shake her and say "LET IT GO YOU FUCKING BITCH" but i didnt. i stared instead. then, finally, she gave up, and turned her body from him... did i mention she had an engagement ring? she SURELY sounds mature enough to be getting married (she looked in her 30's, so did he). finally they get off at the stop before mine, she walks off in a huff, he follows, trying to finagle her suitcase. i wonder if they are still together...

Monday, July 23, 2007


ok, i know i usually blog about new york, but i have to talk about harry.

also, i apologize for my long absence, i have been away... but here i am!

so. 8:50 friday morning, i arrived at borders, to see a line out the door, around the building. panic sets in. however, luckily i was meeting efficient people who were already in line- phew! i get up to the line, and 2 of my ex coworkers were handing out the wristbands. we got them for the first group! hooray! me, lauren, christine and katie then all got coffee and discussed the evening/the book/theories etc... it was a fun time.
adrian arrived at my house around 4, followed shortly by jess. the hogwarts express (katie) picked us up at 5:30 and we were off to laurens.
we arrived at laurens, to be greeted by a sign on the buzzer area telling us, in true harry fashion, what buzzer to press. we were then greeted by the fat lady on laurens door. and that was only the beginning... this was katie's reaction upon walking into laurens: here are some photos of laurens house:

book shrine

potions bar - where we could make polyjuice potion (also known as pomegranet martinis) and butterbeer (cream soda and butterscotch schnaups)

it was a lot to take in, and was a wonderful way to set the night ahead... in order to nourish ourselves for the long night ahead, lauren had plenty of food - snacks
as well as sweets from honeydukes:

and a Harry party wouldnt be complete without treacle tarts, pumpkin cookies, pumpkin pasties, or mrs. weasleys ham and chicken pies:

while we were stuffing ourselves to the brim, drinking deliciousness, we had to prepare for the night ahead- the big task: TSHIRT MAKING. adrian, bless her, with the help of her lovely fiance steve, designed the logos - you could choose from "accio book 7," "it's a harry thing," and a simple lightning bolt with stars - all 7 of us had "DA" on the sleeve (which, without my knowledge, was supposed to go on the LEFT sleeve... i put mine on the right, and decided that it just must mean that i am president of the group) - the date the book was released (21 July 2007) and "siriusly." now, for those non potter fans out there, sirius black is harrys godfather.
i was rather nervous making my shirt. if i were to mess up it would be imminent disaster.

here i am, carefully ironing and christine, oh so careful

jess, with my assistance: finally, with the tshirts finished, lauren and i made signs -

and after the sign making, i had to take a gander in the mirror of erised to see what my hearts greatest desire was - big surprise!
it was a few more minutes of fun at laurens -

i brought some fun toys for the evening:
katie brought goodie bags for all, but adrian got an extra treat:

the mug says: dumbledore's girl through and through. all were jealous.

i started panicking around 8:30 - i was getting nervous, i wanted to make sure we got a place to park, and that we werent too late. we wrapped it up, piled into 2 cars, and were on our way! katie dropped me, adrian and jess off, and went to park the car. We were not the first ones there. loads of people were there, all dressed in various costumes, some muggles, all eager with anticipation. this group was one of our favorites:

we had several people asking to take our picture, asking where we got our shirts, telling us they loved our shirts etc... so i believe a lot of people have a picture like this: i of course knew several people working, and hagrid was there from 2 years ago - who looked a little bit like my ex coworker josh....
we tried to go to some of the events, but many were too crowded, and there was a lack of announcements by the staff (never would have happened in MY day), and screechy voices left our ears buzzing, so we settled ourselves by the window sill:

after the window sill, we settled for awhile near the summer reading displays, away from it all... and we were told from a reliable source that the line would be formed by the registers, so at around 11:15 we mingled near the registers, then i went to verify where the line was to start, and i was told the KIDS section. so off we went to mingle at the kids section... then chaos began. the person in charge (not someone i knew, thank god, i think if i had worked with him there would have been some serious issues) - had no idea what the hell he was doing. he wanted 75 eager people to line up WITH NO ORDER. i repeat, NO ORDER. it was ridiculous. people were shoving, people who were first in line (US) ended up way in back, people got separated, then some genius borders employee (again, one i didnt know) said "line up in single file, you all went to elementary school right, you can all line up in a single file" and i said "yeah, and we all learned not to cut in line too..." i could have hit her and her idiot coworker. but, i was minutes away from getting harry. we were then led across the store to the register line. i was probably 20th. i was with christine, but had been separated from everyone else. we waited. finally, the time came, there was a roar from the store when the first boxes were brought out. then, the first person went up, there were cheers. the line started moving... i was getting closer! finally i was next in line. my spot opened up, and it was an ex coworker, lauren, so i was glad to get someone i knew. and here is the moment:
finally. it was in my HAND!!!!!! i screamed, the crowd yelled, everyone was cheering. i think they were thinking "finally that redheaded bitch goit her book, she was annoying all night" but WHO CARES i HAD IT!!!!!!!! i stayed and got photos of jess
then adrian getting their books... but it was too busy and chaotic for me to stay for everyone. we waited outside for the others to come out. finally, they did. we parted ways with the shrewsbury crowd, and me, jess, adrian and katie headed towards katies car, only to realize katie could not get in.. so i slid over the middle of the front, pulled the car up so katie could get in. mind you, this is all in EAGER anticipation of the BOOK that we had IN OUR HANDS. finally we got settled, and i began reading aloud. there wasnt a noise in the car. we got to my parents house, and katie came in, and we read for awhile. katie left, and jess adrian and i continued reading, then went up to bed, where we all read a bit further. at 3:45 i put my light out so i could get up early enough to read. at around 8:45 i got up, went downstairs to find adrian and jess reading. i made coffee and pancakes, and our reading marathon began. at 10:30 katie joined us. at various points we would stop reading and discuss. finally, between 4-5 we all finished - katie and jess first, followed by me, and then adrian. i laugh, i cried, i cheered.

Friday, June 22, 2007


ok. i HATE other peoples hair. i just dont like it touching me, i dont really like touching it, i hate finding it ANYWHERE. if it isnt long, red and curly, i want to puke. there is just something about hair. EW. anyway - i was sitting on the subway this morning- sitting on one of the seats where the back is up against the back of another seat, reading my Harry and the Order of the Phoenix, minding my own business... when suddenly, i felt something on my back (i am wearing a tank top that is low in the back)- i immediately turn around and i see this:
ok, fine not EXACTLY that. it kind of looked like that, but it was attached to a woman, and was in a banana clip. and it kept fucking brushing up against me. so i kept adjusting, thinking she would get the hint. but the more i adjusted, i swear to GOD the more she pushed her hair to MY SIDE. it was SO GROSS. i kept giving her nasty looks, and i could feeeel it. ew. thinking about it now makes my skin crawl... i swear to you, the more i wriggled, the more she pushed it over. finally, at 42nd she got off. gross. and when she got up her shorts were giving her a wedgie. serves her RIGHT.

Tuesday, June 12, 2007

The Annoyances of Megan

things that annoy me:

people who are wearing jackets, and sit so fucking close to you on the subway when you are wearing a tanktop/short sleeves andd their dirty jacket sleeve is rubbing against you.
people who dont eat french fries because they are "unhealthy"
people who "try to be healthy" and smoke, people who do yoga and smoke
people who blast their ipod so high that someone sitting 6 people away can hear it- see you for that hearing aid fitting buddy!
people who say "former president clinton, carter, reagan" etc... THEY ARE NOT FORMER. it is like a DOCTOR. when a doctor retires, do we say "former dr so and so"? NO. we do NOT. PROPER english is to say "president clinton" - the only ones who do NOT count would be ones like nixon, or andrew johnson. do we say "former president kennedy?" "former president lincoln" NO. we do NOT. so STOP saying it.
people who pronounce the "g" in ing words.
people who want to improve themselves but do nothing about it
close mindedness
people who "arent political" - you know what - you can vote, you can look at issues and form opinions, but you dont have to be crazy about it. we are fucking lucky to live in a country where we have the riht to choose who we want to lead us. and if your party doesnt win, then you have the right to complain til the cows come home.
condaleeza rice. a black woman who is conservative. it just doesnt make sense.
anyone who thinks they are better than somenoe else. you arent. i dont care what your position is in your job, in life, in politics. you are the same as me. you were a fucking mass of cells just like me, just like the homeless guy on the corner. so get off your high horse and show some compassion.
people who refuse to read harry potter. get over yourself and read it.
people who call back a number that was on their cell phone - why? why would you do that if no message was left? it was probably a wrong number. OR, when they say "yeah, i didnt listen to the message" ok, listen to it, THEN call back.
people who interrupt.
people who sit down on the subway when there is 4 inches of space. and they are young, and could easily stand, but instead, they would rather cause me distress in my reading. stand up you lazy slime.
people who put the money DOWN on the counter at a register. now, i know a lot of you probably do it. stop doing it if you do. it is SO annoying to the cashier. look them in the eye and put it in their hand. they arent dirty, they arent scary. it is ok to touch them. it is a fucking pain in the ass to pick up all the nickles and dimes you put on the counter. so just put it in their hand.
people who, when ordering at a cafe just say "large coffee" no "can i have" "may i please have" OR people who say "i NEED..." no. you dont, actually. you dont need any of this - no one NEEDS coffee. you might WANT IT. but you dont need it.
"is this skim?"
people who say "valentimes" and are over the age of 8
people who say "oh i cant watch the news or read the newspaper." what. yes. yes, you CAN. just because you live in a fucking suburbia/yuppie/fake happy world does NOT mean you shouldnt know what is going on everywhere else where they dont have 3 car garages, the internet, suvs, yoga class or starbucks. wake up. there is scary shit going on, and you should be aware.
peopel who cut in line. oh. my. GOD. ohmygod. whatthefuck. ok. i THINK that most of us, at age THREE had to start waiting in line at nursery school. and you didnt cut. if you did, you had to get a time out. so WHY, WHY THE HELL would it be ok to cut at cvs? at a concert? while waiting in line to see the newest harry potter movie? WHY? it is NOT ok. just because you have a blackberry and drove in in your land rover does NOT give you the right to cut!
on a similar note, people who, if they are behind you in line, and another register opens, and the cashier says "next" and the PERSON BEHIND YOU GOES. NO. youa re NOT next. so, what do i do? i push. yes, ladies and gentleman, this is when i push. for fucks sake. or, if i am 2nd and line, and 1st in line is a poor elderly old woman, i will say something to 3rd in line who went over when someone said "next" i dont get it. are you in THAT big of a rush that you cant understand what "next in line" means? GROW UP. actaully, i guess GROW DOWN. because, my 4 year old niece understands what a line is.

ohmygod. ok. i should stop. i could go on, which is kind of sad.

these are mundane things, i know. but they are just annoyances, not things that concern me (global warming, the war etc...)

thank you.

Monday, June 11, 2007

you move in with me?

saturday night, i prettied myself up to prepare for a lovely evening out - for my friend amandas birthday party. as i was sitting on the train waiting for it to leave the station, and older man got on, sat down perpindicular to me (i was sitting on seats going the direction the train was going to go, he was sitting in the seat perpindicular to it) - anyway - he asks, in very broken english, with a very thick accent if the train was "going to astroia" i wasnt sure if he meant astoria boulevard or astoria in general, either were rather pointless questions as 1. the train only goes in ONE direction from ditmars and 2. we already were IN astoria. so i smiled and assured him he was on the right train. apparently, that wasnt good enough... he doubted my answer... "astoria?" he asked... i smiled "yes" so then i decided to help him out "are you asking if this goes to astoria boulevard?" "astoria?" i sighed, and smiled, "this train only goes one way" "36th?" "yes." problem solved, and i thought my life could go back to normal. not so fast. i noticed, out of the corner of my eye, that he was looking at me, smiling. i pretended not to see. then "where from?" "boston" "oh... i, india" "oh, nice!"

please, please stop talkign to me. "you very beautiful"
"thank you"
"you alone?" i think he meant, "areyou single"
so i said, "no, i'm not"
"oh... i alone..." great. "you live with me?"
no. no, mr 50-year-old-who-needs-his-visa-i will NOT live with you. in fear that i WOULD say that and make matters worse, i just smiled.
and, ladies and gentleman, he did not stop there.
"you beautiful, i like you look"
well, thanks, i appreciate it, but our relationship is going to end on this train.
"you live astoria?"
"no, manhattan" phew. thank you, thank you, whoever you are for allowing me to not hesitate, not think "well, he's harmless" and say i lived in astoria.
"manhattan? ohhh..." he looked beat, he looked devestated. thank GOD manhattan seemed like a plane ride, a hurdle, a long distance relationship away. thank you improvisation classes. thank you.
"you live with me?"
OHMYGOD. NO. NO I WILL NOT LIVE WITH YOU. WHY. WHY DO YOU THINK I WOULD LIVE WITH YOU? why do you WANT me to live withyou? if in fact i DID live in Manhattan, in the penthouse i was invisioning describing to him once he asked THAT question, i would NOT move to 36th ave in ASTORIA to LIVE WITH A 60 YEAR OLD MAN WHO COULD BARELY SPEAK ENGLISH.

"i like you look"

and, suddenly, my phone was the most important thing in my life. i took it out, and started receiving and writing the most important, longest text messages one could imagine. (in truth, i text my friend "a crazy man just asked me to move in with him")- and then deleted old messages, but i had a look of concern and determination. and.. after a few more attempts "i like you look" "you live with me" - he finally, gave up. also, the train at that p oint had started getting more crowded (we had, awhile prior, started moving, so had made a few stops.

and when he got off, i was so relieved, and put my phone away with gusto.


later that night a man said to me "your very, very pretty... i would buy you a drink, but i might put a rufie in it... you need to watch out for that... youre so pretty" and you, sir, are wearing a paper crown you got at medieval times...

goddamnit i just wanted a free drink!

Monday, June 4, 2007

i think it might be a disease...

now, it probably comes to no surprise to anyone, that i am a
now, you might not all know that it is my goal, if i am to ever give birth, hopefully not for a long time, but if i am ever to, that i would like to give birth to a redhed (ideally a little redheaded gay mommas boy, but i wont be THAT picky) anyway...

today on the subway, i looked up and saw a lovely redheaded male standing directly infront of me. and i became obsessed. should i speak to him? should i ask him if he, too had a goal in mind to have a redheaded baby someday? do i casually catch his eye, nod and say "wanna make a redhead?" ni decided not to... so i just got obsessed. "if he gets off at my stop, it's a sign" then i thought "damn, he's probably married." to which IMMEDIATELY his left hand came out of his pocket to reveal... NO RING. i was ecstatic. it was surely a sign that immediately after i THOUGHT "i wonder if he is married" the ring hand came out of the pocket to reveal that he was infact, not married.
the rest of my trip, i kept glancing at him, thinking he was looking at me too. perhaps thinking "there is a redhead, we could have redheaded children"
he was NOT getting off either... and when we came to the 2nd to last stop and he did not get off, i thought "this is IT- he'll ask me to have redheaded babies with him while we are walking down the stairs together"
we got off... walked down the stairs, and just as i thought he was going to ask me - i turned left and he turned right, never to be seen again...

i think i have a redheaded baby disesase.

Thursday, May 31, 2007


it's been awhile... i guess not too much exciting has happened on the subway... i DID witness a shoplifter get chased and handcuffed on broadway. apparently there are undercover cops at those little outdoor markets everywhere... because THAT is who was running down the street- a plainclothes cop. chased after this guy, started frisking him, taking things out of his shirt, then handcuffing him. it was quite a site. that was about 20 minutes after i had been walking down the street, and passed a guy walking towards me, and thought "hmmm, i know htat guy, i must have been in the elevator with him.. he must work in my building..." but then i thought "no... that's not it... i feel like i worked with him.. do i know him from borders?" then it dawned on me, it was John Krasinski from "the office"! it was rather funny.

today when i was walking on the street i heard a guy say "i knew i wanted a milkshake!" and that made me laugh...

i think that is it for now...

Thursday, May 17, 2007

best guy ever.

i first noticed this guy sitting across from me on the subway as i was coming home from work because he had a back to the future t-shirt on. i thought "awesome."
i noticed, he was reading a comic book compilation of the comic book "silver surfer" and he was fully immersed in it. he had thick, black, plastic glasses on, black jeans to match the black bttf t-shirt, and black sneakers. his face was rather dotted... and he was awesome. i stared at him whilst he was reading the silver surfer. he fascinated me. i think i just love it when i see a ridiculous stereotype. yes, i think i love stereotypes. i love them in action. i love the nerdy guy wearing a back to the future tshirt, with thick glasses, pimply skin, reading a comic book.
do i fit into a stereotype? actress with a day job? do people stare at me and smile thinking "this is amazing, what a great stereotype in action"???

every day i see it, the guy who hates his office job, the woman who hates the fact that she has to ride a subway, the working mom who takes her kid to the preschool close to the office in midtown, the elderly lady who has been taking the 8:35 train (even though there are really no times) every day for 55 years, the nerd, the drama queen, the outcast, you name it.

i always say there are stereotypes for a reason. stereotypes arent made up. stereotypical comic book boy, stereotypical struggling actor, stereotypical city mom, stereotypical working man. they exist, and if you sit on the subway, you will see them every day.

i do wonder what stereotype i am... youngest child? small town girl in big city? actress? snob? irish girl? tribeca receptionist?
being individual is a stereotype too...

we have stereotypes for a reason: most of the time they are true!

Tuesday, May 15, 2007

crazy talker and a cozyupper...

last night after a fulfilling energy class, i got on the N train, and i could hear an older man talking to a younger woman (my age) - and i sat down kind of next to them (their seats were perpindicular to mine) - and this guy was TALKING. about everything, the book she was reading, cuba, florida... told her not to read the book in florida because they hate cubans... and was just going on and on.. .trying to guess her profession...
so i started thinking of ways to save her.. i was thinking i should say "HI JEN!!!! how ARE you!!!???" but then i thought if i did that he would start talking to both of us how the subway is so crazy for meeting people. i didnt want to catch the guys eye either. then a guy got on and sat next to me. and started FALLING ASLEEP AND SLOWLY leaning INTO ME!!!! so i am staring at him, willing him not to fall on me, but slowly, slowly... so finally i pushed him, he "woke up" then started at it AGAIN. and i started thinking "if this guy falls on me, talker is going to comment on it, then i will have to talk to the talker..." then i was thinking about how i would react if someones HEAD with HAIR fell on my BARE ARM. and i realized i would probably yell and jump... then i was wondering if he was doing it on purpose... wanted a cuddle.. finally, he got off... without falling onto me.

but the talker was still going strong. i heard him say "im a writer, producer, director of movies..." and ithought "here we go, i am GOING to have to intervene now - he is going to ask her to be in a 'film' that obviously will be porn" but then he said he is working on a horror film...
he then asked her if he would see her again. again, i thought i would have to intervene... but she said "do you ride the train a lot?" it was great.

so then FINALLY he got off. 2 stops before me. i looked at the girl who made a face and i said "ohmygod!!! i kept trying to think of how i could save you!!!" so we chatted about him the rest of the way- then the guy next to me chimed in about how he felt bad... and how he feels bad for girls etc.

it was a lovely chat and she appreciated that we all felt for her...

it was nice to bond with someone on the subway - makes the other people real...

Monday, May 14, 2007


ok. i was on the subway last week, and these two guys got on. they were the type of guys who dont use discreet, inside voices when on the subway, and you arent sure if it is because they WANT people to hear them, or they just dont care. i think they were coworkers - one was older than the other, but not old enough to be a father, and i didnt get the brother vibe from them.

so. they walk in, and immediately i can tellthey will be interesting. They are dressed in workmans clothes - jeans, work boots, flannel shirts.. one of them wants to sit down right next to the door, but the other (the older one) doesnt.. so he walks further down the train. the other one starts to follow, and spills his coffee. needless to say, a parade of expletives follows. but he moves to where his friend is. he sits down, and starts saying "I NEED A NAKKIN. I NEED TO GET MY NAKKIN! I NEED MY FUCKING NAKKIN" and i immediately start cracking up. i always have a hard time understanding adults who say "nakkin" instead of "NAPkin" or "valentiMes instead of "valentines" "libERRY" instead of "liBRARY" do they not see the other letters? was it just that they always said it like that as a kid and no one ever thought to correct them, and they believe that everyone else is wrong in the pronunciation? i am fascinated by that concept.

the coffee issue subsided, and tehy started chatting away about mutual friends etc... then suddenly i hear "he dont know dave! if he dont know richie, he dont know dave... because they're brothers" and it just cracked me up. i love hearing snippets of peoples conversations. my sister and i want to write a book and have just lines of things we overheard... taken out of context who KNOWS what people are talking about!

another thing i love about the subway is how everyone, when the walk in, looks to see if there is a seat available. i love watching people do this. i dont know why.

i also enjoy reading whatever the person next ot me is reading. except when it is a newspaper and i am reading an interesting article and they turn the page. annoying.

Tuesday, May 8, 2007

it's a straight thing...

today is about straight hair.

i normally have curly hair, and everyonce in awhile when im feeling bold, and feel like taking the time, i will dry it out straight and use an iron.

Yesterday and today were 2 of those days. Yesterday at work every single person commented on it "oh, it looks nice, oh, megan! you look so GOOD!" "I LOVE YOUR HAIR!!!!!!!!!!" "you look BEAUTIFUL!!!!!!!!"

doi look so grotesque with curly hair?

today, i went walking on my lunch break. as i was walking along, there was a group of men standing around. they STOP mid conversation and one of them says "hello... you look beautiful today!" i said "thank you!" and continued on my way. one block later, a man in a delivery truck yelled "HEY SWEEETHEART!!!!!!!" to me.

was it the straight hair? was it the short jumper i was wearing? WHAT WAS IT????

walking from the subway in harlem where i ALWAYS got comments - i got even MORE - 'hi!" "hi pretty lady!"
what IS it?

on my way BACK to the subway in harlem, i had a large back, plus my cart FILLED with stuff from my apartment. RIGHT at my door a man ON HIS CELL PHONE stops MID sentence and says "do you need help with that?" at that point i wasnt even struggling to get it off the stoop, i was merely walking along with it wheeling behind me. i said no thanks and continued. turn the corner - "hi there pretty!" i smile. walking along, another man on his cell phone - "hi baby - you need some help?"
no. no i DONT need help.

where were these men when i was walking down the fucking steps to the subway!?

i had to change trains at one point, and there is A LOT of stairs. i was at the top, preparing, when two men immediately stop, one takes the bottom, the other the top, no questions asked, and take my cart for me. one of them evenoffered to put it on the train for me, but it wasnt the right train - i had to wait for a different one.

let me stop a moment and talk about a couple i observed. it was so obvious it was an early date in the relationship - and DEFINITELY the first time that they were going to do it. they were on their way to his apartment to finally do it. he was so into her and so excited - and she was a bit more nervous. not that she wasnt into it - she was - but he was thinking about it the ENTIRE time. you could tell, and he was A LOT older than her.

so i get off the train at my stop. i carried the cart down the first leg of stairs- and that was fine because it wasnt too much - and te people around me had bags on them. however. when i got to the stairs to the street, i was preparing for my trip down the stairs, when two lovely young men (18 probably) offered to help. one had a cute little varisity jacket on that said "brandon" i wish i had told them to tell their moms what they did. it was so cute.

so that was my day with straight hair.

how can going from curly to straight hair transform someone SO much that every man on the street takes note!?
do we live in a straight hair-biased world? if my hair had been curly tonight - would i have gotten the same treatment i had as a straight hair woman?

was it because my dress was short?

i dont know.

Thursday, May 3, 2007


today, i was standing when i first got on the train. at 77th i see a seat open across from me, so i booked it over there. i sit down, and who FLIES from the other side to sit down - tangerine girl. although not tangerine today - grey. she seemed a little out of it today...

still. how often do you notice the same person on the subway!

and, last night, i was on my way to astoria to meet a prospective roommate (she is going to live with me!) and i was sitting reading and i hear "megan?" and i look up - and it was my dear friend jonny kay from when i did the berkshire theatre festival. he himself lives in astoria. so we chatted for the whole train ride, until he had to get off 2 stops before me. it was lovely. hadnt seen him in nearly 5 years.... sad how that happens...

Wednesday, May 2, 2007

nothing too exciting...

this isnt really a crazy person story, but a story from the subway nonetheless.

this morning i was standing, holding onto a pole, minding my own business, waiting for one of the people sitting near me to get up. now, for those of you perhaps unfamiliar with the subway, let me just say that when you are standing at a pole, there are usually 3 chances for getting a seat - the people on either side of the pole, and the one next to the person on the side of the pole you are on. however. once another person comes to share your pole, your chances are shot to only 2- the people on your side of the pole.

enter girl wearing tangerine colored "shirt dress" over black jeans, with black flats... and a hair in a messy ponytale.
with ipod nano. she stands next to me, and immediately i hate her because she has just diminished my seat chances. of course, the next stop, the guy sitting on HER side gets up. i notice when she sits, she LITERALLY sits ontop of the girl on MY side, so much so that the girl on my side noticed and gave her a look. then i see tangerine girl look up so i look. and it is a very cute guy standing there. she OBVIOUSLY had tried to make the 1 person spot big enough for 2 thinking that cutie would sit next to her. she stareda at him. he was immersed in a book. so some middle aged woman with short brillo pad red hair with circular blonde highlights sits down next to her, complete with her 3 tote bags. tangerine is clearly annoyed that cutie didnt sit next to her, and i am thrilled that all these events are taking place.

tangerine KEEPS STARING at cutie. sorry honey, but staring intently at someone isnt going to make them say "will you PLEASE go out with me?! your staring has enticed me..." it is going to make them say "STOP STARING AT ME FREAK"

however, nothing happened, cutie left, and tangerine was miffed. eventually a seat across from me became available so i took it, giving me perfect tangerine view. everyonce and awhile i would see her staring at someone, then she would have a wierd "knowing" smile on her face. it made me uncomfortable. at 23rd she got up and went near the door. she stood there. her music was SO FUCKING LOUD. people. there are studies about how loud your ipod should be. i have a feeling tangerine will have a hearing aid at an earlier age.
she stood by the door, and at the next stop i realized she was on the WRONG side for the next stop - so i had a moment of glee. but then she stayed on. . she stood for a few more stops, then regained her seat across from me. why?


she got off at bleeker.


Tuesday, April 24, 2007

not on the subway, but close enough

yesterday afternoon i was walking along broadway on my lunch break. now, normally when i am on my lunch break, my biggest worry whilst walking is avoiding getting bombarded by women coming up to me saying "coach bag? you want coach bag?" in a quiet voice as if she is offering me cocaine. i also enjoy the ones that come up to me and gently say "dvd?"
no. thank you. anyway, i was walking along, minding my own business, glad that soho was just one block away... when suddenly, i am punched, very hard, in. the. breast. the left breast to be exact. so i immediately yell "OW" and turn around. it is some older man (50-60) who was PUTTING ON HIS JACKET. did i mention it was 80 degrees out yesterday? it was. punched me, hard, in the boob. i think i have a bruise! he said sorry, and looked sheepishly down on my breast that i was rubbing in horror.

fast forward 4 hours later. i was on my way to meet lindsey, her friend carol and her 10 year old daughter and friend. i figured i should get some money out to have just in case. so i start crossing the street to the atm, and i notice a man sitting in the alcove inside the door. and he is tapping on the window, and beckoning me. tap tap tap beckon beckon... tap tap tap beckon beckon... tap tap tap beckon beckon... so i veered to the left acting as if i had no plans to go to the atm in the first place.

so those are my tales... nothing from the subway, but entertaining nonetheless.

Thursday, April 19, 2007

a dying father in new jersey, a blow job and an eye patch...

so on Tuesday i was on the subway, minding my own business, reading a book, and i hear "Good evening ladies and gentleman..." and i think it is a normal, "i am homeless, i cant find a job, please give me some money" - but this man throws in "my father is dying and i need to get a train ticket to see him in new brunswick new jersey... please, i need to go see my dying father, who is a drunk like me.." at that point i decided to get a look at the guy, and he is standing, leaning against a pole, and has an eyepatch. i quickly diverted my gaze so he wouldnt focus on me, and continued reading. now, most people say it once "help, i need a train ticket..." and move on to the next car. not this wonderful man. he proceeds to talk about his dying father, and announces "i gotta get to see my father... i dont care, if youpeople dont give me any money, i'll just suck the conducters dick..." and he goes on about having to see his father.. then he sat down across from me and continues his rant - and someone must have smiled and he yells at her "YOU THINK IT"S FUNNY!?! just wait til your father is dying and your a drunk! it's NOT FUNNY i need to see my dying father! i swear, i will let the conducter suck my dick! i swear to god people, you can go to the new jersey transit tomorrow and ask them..." presumably, if i were to call up new jersey transit today and ask if a conducter performed fellacio so a drunk could get home to see his drunk father die, it would be verified. so then he stands up, and says "alright, fuck you all.." gets off at the next stop, turns around to the open doors and screams, at the top of his lungs 'FUUUUUUUUUUUUUCK YOUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"


First time

Now, those of you who know me have heard some of my subway stories. For some reason, the majority of the time, no matter what car i walk onto on the train, i get the craziest of the crazies. I dont just get the woman sitting quietly talking to herself, i get the woman yelling to EVERYONE, i dont get just the poor old homeless man looking for a quarter, i get the man with an eye patch... tonight, while i was telling my friend amanda (aka peeper) my latest subway story, she said to me "you have got to write these down" - so here i am.

i will start with my favorite two.

one was a few weeks ago, i was waiting at canal to grab the A, C or E to penn station for rehearsal. While waiitng i heard a woman talking quite loudly, so i looked over, and noticed she was, in fact, alone. and there was no cell phone, even if there was, there was no service down there. she looked like she had just left a comfortable office job and was on her way home to cook sloppy joes for her two kids and husband. however, unlike most stable moms i have seen, she was having a mighty serious conversation with herself. "I'M GONNA GO DOWN THERE AND IM GONNA KILL HIM. I"M GONNA BLOW HIS HEAD OFF..." and she went on, the E arrived, and i got on it. a few stops later, i noticed an A had caught up, so i jumped up and crossed the platform, and got onto the A. I got in the last door, and stood. Suddenly, i hear a familiar voice from minutes before. This time, i couldnt make out exactly what she was saying - she was standing near the first door of the car. everyonce and awhile i would hear key words "homosexual" "god" "Jesus." she was LOUD. and everyone on teh car was trying to get a look. i informed the couple sitting near me (the guy was trying hard to see her) - that she was a clean cut woman wearing make up and nice clothes. they were shocked. suddenly, we hear "then there are the transvestites... some women are born with DICKS and some men are born with PUSSIES" everyone was looking now. (most had been anyway). my stop came, i said goodbye to the couple, and got off the train. one passenger got off, slowly turned around with a bewildered look on his face, staring at her. as the door shut, i could still hear her yelling.
was it an acting experiment? a social experiment? or a working mom who forgot to take her meds that afternoon? we will never know, but i will always be intrigued.

i am too tired now to post my latest subway personality, you will just have to wait til tomorrow...