Thursday, April 19, 2007

a dying father in new jersey, a blow job and an eye patch...

so on Tuesday i was on the subway, minding my own business, reading a book, and i hear "Good evening ladies and gentleman..." and i think it is a normal, "i am homeless, i cant find a job, please give me some money" - but this man throws in "my father is dying and i need to get a train ticket to see him in new brunswick new jersey... please, i need to go see my dying father, who is a drunk like me.." at that point i decided to get a look at the guy, and he is standing, leaning against a pole, and has an eyepatch. i quickly diverted my gaze so he wouldnt focus on me, and continued reading. now, most people say it once "help, i need a train ticket..." and move on to the next car. not this wonderful man. he proceeds to talk about his dying father, and announces "i gotta get to see my father... i dont care, if youpeople dont give me any money, i'll just suck the conducters dick..." and he goes on about having to see his father.. then he sat down across from me and continues his rant - and someone must have smiled and he yells at her "YOU THINK IT"S FUNNY!?! just wait til your father is dying and your a drunk! it's NOT FUNNY i need to see my dying father! i swear, i will let the conducter suck my dick! i swear to god people, you can go to the new jersey transit tomorrow and ask them..." presumably, if i were to call up new jersey transit today and ask if a conducter performed fellacio so a drunk could get home to see his drunk father die, it would be verified. so then he stands up, and says "alright, fuck you all.." gets off at the next stop, turns around to the open doors and screams, at the top of his lungs 'FUUUUUUUUUUUUUCK YOUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"

wow.

2 comments:

Elizabeth said...

ummmm, yeah, you definitely attract the crazies down there in New York!

Jee said...

how come that never happened to me when i rode the subway... :(

that's some good entertainment -- especially that farewell 'fuck you'.