Monday, September 10, 2007

suave and shrug

friday night i was on my way home from mexican food and one to many margaritas, but was aware enough as to what was going on around me. when i got on the subway, it was packed so i had to stand. i noticed a girl sitting down, i'm not sure why i noticed her, perhaps it was fates way of telling me "something will happen with her, so try to sit next to her" - so i noticed her, and read my book. a seat opened up a few stops later, lo and behold, next to the aforementioned girl. so i took it. i glanced over at what she was reading and noticed it was a script. typed out, so not anything crazy- probably an off off non equity production (i am not bashing her, as that is what i am involved in too!) so the train ride continued, with me reading. the train was still pretty packed for being so far into queens... there was a guy standing to my right, holding on to the bar above my head- i could sense his presence, but didnt look at him, so i didnt know what he looked like. just as we were approaching the stop before mine, script-reading girl stood up, handed something to man-without-a-face and said "i never do this.." and shrugged her shoulders with a cock of her neck. so i thought "what does she never do?" thinking perhaps she had tucked a tag that was sticking out of his shirt in... or maybe she knew him... so i looked at him, and he was holding a BUSINESS card. not any business card, an actors business card that has your headshot on it! so i laughed. maybe out loud, i cant be sure. then i noticed script-reader girl shrug her shoulders and cock her neck AGAIN. with a look on her face that was like "sorry." so then i decide i have to get a better look at man-without-a-face- and he wasnt even that cute! nothing that would make me think "if i dont do it i will never see the man of my dreams again" kind of thing that apparently script-reading girl felt! so then man-without-a-face, who i will now call mr. suave moves in on script-reading girl, who i will now call shrug-shoulders girl. mr. suave says "what stop are you getting off at?" shrug-shoulders said "the next one" mr suave: "i'll get off there too, this is usually my stop but i'll walk" so the doors shut and we start moving. and we stop. the announcement comes up "ladies and gentlemen we are being held for a train to leave the station" (this happens often since it is the last stop). and i chuckle to myself thinking how awkward it must be for shrug and suave to have to keep a conversation going. so mr suave says "ive been walking around manhattan all night" as if he had said "i have been pulling hundreds of people out of a burning building all night" he had this obnoxious, i-am-the-best-thing-in-the-world voice. i cant even think of an example - just, in your head, imagine an exaggerated "yeah, im awesome" voice, and that was suaves. so suave continued: "i started out the night at bar x downtown at first and avenue a* then my friend wsa in town and wanted us to meet her at 26th and 6th* so we walked there, then we walked to y bar on 23rd and avenue b* - not how i wanted to spend my friday night, but what can you do?" (*- these arent the real locations, i made them up, but it was something similar) and apparently, mr suave, you realized you werent going to get laid, which is why you were on your way home alone at 1 am.... but then shrug came along and you thought it was your lucky night... shrug then said "i should have just gotten off with you and walked... sometimes i think that might be quicker" then suave puts out his hand and says "Pete" as if he was at a country club and just met the CEO to the company he wanted to merge with... and shrug says "nicole." good god. is it wrong that i was loving sitting in on such awkwardness? when you arent involved, it is SUCH good fun! so they continued the small talk and then the train started moving. i was a bit sad as i wanted to continue viewing this interesting turn of events (let me also note that the entire time i was pretending to read my book, like it was the most interesting piece of literature i had ever encountered) so we got to my stop, and apparently, shrugs stop, and i literally waited so i could follow them. they are still kind of chit chatting, and she pointed to which way she goes, and he goes "oh, i was gonna say we could go to dunkin donuts and get a coffee or something" (dd was the other direction) and she says " i have to get up early for rehearsal" so i was following them down the stairs hoping to GOD she gave in to the coffee.. she laughed and said "it's great you know that is a 24 hour dunkin donuts" to which suave says "well, i just thought we could chat a bit more" and by then we were at the bottom of the stairs and they had stopped. i couldnt very well stop and stair at them, although i wanted to, perhaps pulling out a movie popcorn bag and watching, but instead i went on my way to my apartment. amazing. truly amazing. maybe they will be married in a year and i shouldnt poke fun. maybe after she realized what a jack ass he was she realized what a dumb mistake she had made. maybe she fell even further in love with him, but he was pissed she wouldnt go for a coffee with him. maybe they ended up at her place. i will probably never know...

No comments: