i swear to you this happened on the train last night:
man walked into train, placed himself infront of me, leanedup against a pole, and thrust his pelvis in my face (2 feet from it) i looked away. next time i glanced at him, he had his arms up above his head holding the pole, so he was like flexing his arm muscles, and... dear friends, he was... KISSING HIS BICEP. i am not lying. i could not make this up.
he was probably 50.
it was grotesque.
and i laughed.